haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
