I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
