I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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