so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
