JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
