My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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