i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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