I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
