my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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