If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
