So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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