The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
