First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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