You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
