sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just high enough for therapy.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
