Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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