I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
