my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
