oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
