Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
