Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
