whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
