ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
