What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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