i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
