the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
home. puking in laundry basket.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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