I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize