At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
