know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize