We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
