u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize