If that was your dad, he is hot
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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