once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
