they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
