Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
