I love watching others lives come down to our level.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
