Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
