would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
