im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
