I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Life is so much better after having sex.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize