yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I need water and some morals
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
