I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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