So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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