I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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