You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
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