I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
there's paper in my vomit.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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