I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize