i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
