wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
