Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I intend to get homeless drunk
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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