I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize