She announced her abortion via fbk
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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