I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
