it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
did you just send me my own nude
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize