You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
