normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
