Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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