Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
