dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
