it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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