summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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