'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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