There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
