69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
