yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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