I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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