Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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