onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
